As a parent who is thinking about divorce, going through divorce, or divorced, you have more than likely experienced concern, fear, and anxiety about how your children will be impacted by divorce.
You want to continue providing your children with a healthy and happy childhood and to give them the tools to build resilience. But how, amidst the lifequake that is divorce?
Enlightened Coparenting is a coparenting journey to improve your coparenting relationship, deepen your relationship with your children, and to reconnect with your self and engage in self care.
All 3 relationships, coparent to coparent, parent to child, and parent to self, are important in Enlightened CoParenting, as all 3 are essential to healthy coparenting.
Enlightened CoParenting fits perfectly into every different type of family. For all families, divorce has simultaneous effects on every area of family members' lives. This is the source for the intense stress, uncertainty, anger, feelings of insufficient resources, shame and guilt that accompanies divorce. Stress, uncertainty, anger, feelings of insufficient resources, shame and guilt are also the key ingredients for intense conflict.
Now for the 5 essentials to engage in Enlightened CoParenting!
Open your mind to learning about the new creative ways in which you will tap into well-being for yourself and your children. Creativity that you can't possibly tap into when you believe coparenting is impossible. Enlightened coparenting evokes a mindfulness approach to learning.
Do you remember how parenting began to feel intuitive after you made it to your oldest child's first birthday and youhad in fact both survived?
Parenting was not easy but you were able to trust yourself and trust your inner parent. This will happen again. If you follow the Enlightened Coparenting framework, coparenting will soon feel intuitive.
Enlightened CoParenting synthesizes family systems, positive psychology, emotional intelligence, and child development research so you do not have to. Enlightened Coparenting clients come to understand the research concerning children and divorce. As the research demonstrates, the impacts of a high-conflict divorce are significant. But there is something else equally significant.
Truly understanding that there are researched based answers to your questions and solutions for your struggles will motivate you beyond measure to embrace the necessary changes to move from high-conflict coparenting to Enlightened CoParenting.
Essential 3 to Enlightened CoParenting is to tailor your coparenting to the unique characteristics and individual needs of each child. Essential 3 involves learning how to influence positive development in a child exactly where that child is, intellectually and emotionally. Enlightened Coparenting is tailored to the age and stage of development of each child. It considers and applies tools for large groups of siblings, twins and triplets, and children without siblings. It conforms to introverted and extroverted children, children with special needs, and children with extraordinary gifts. Enlightened Coparenting supports a truly authentic path for coparenting your children in an emotion-focused open-hearted way.
Enlightened Coparenting not only fosters the resilience of children but it fosters family resilience as well.
Yes, the family changes considerably with divorce but it can still be alive and well and a safe and nourishing place for both children and parents.
Family resilience is fostered in Enlightened CoParenting by cultivating emotional intelligence in ourselves and in our children. Enlightened Coparenting integrates an easy to employ 5 step process for cultivating emotional intelligence in children.
The objective of Module 4 is to understand the steps you can take to cultivate emotional intelligence in your child or children and to learn how using emotionally intelligent principals in parenting will deepen your relationship with your children as well as enhance your own emotional intelligence.
High conflict coparenting arises from more than disagreements. It arises from deeply ingrained communication patterns tied to past marital roles. Many of these patterns are subtle, and often we do not realize the way we are engaging in them, perpetuating them, or responding to them. Enlightened CoParenting helps you to not only identify these patterns but to change them and experience the freedom that comes with moving past the same dance of conflict you endured while married.
These moments of freedom are precisely the moments where you come to truly understand the way engaging in a high conflict coparenting relationship with your ex also limits and postpones your own divorce recovery and how Enlighted CoParenting can speed up your divorce recovery.
Experience success in working as a team with your coparent as well as working through challenges and issues upon which you disagree. Essential 5 is to listen and learn in order to work through the inevitable issues and disagreements and improve your communication and the outcomes of your negotiation between you and your coparent.
You will expereince wins and you will learn how to compromise when the stakes or costs are low and compromising brings you gains. These are simple techniques that will have a profound impact on the way you share and the way you listen, as well as the way you find creative strategies for both parties to walk away from the table satisfied.
Emerge from divorce, heal, and live a happy and whole life. The last essential is to rekindle your connection with your authentic self, care for that self, take time to dream, and make your dreams a reality. It is critical that you take care of yourself and heal from the pain of divorce in order to be there in a healthy way for your children.
To get you started on this journey I want to offer you, for free, "60 Tiny Tips for Enlightened CoParenting."
I look forward to continuing along the Enlightened CoParenting journey with you and your children. There is so much reason for optimism ahead.
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Say "NO!" to a cookie cutter parenting plan. Create a specialized parenting plan to meet your unique needs and the needs of eachof your children!